going home

Date: Thursday, May 31, 2007
Time: 5:09:00 PM

the girl who was so firm that she was to leave the other day changed her mind. because, she has started to learn to see things in a totally different light.
sometimes, when you try to put yourself in somebody elses' shoes, you may get to know that things aren't quite the same or rather, not as bad as what you think.
i believe that everything happens for a reason. unhappiness sometimes occurs because if it doesn't, you may never get to know what happiness is. similarly, if i didnt encounter these problems at work, i might not have learnt. so, instead of running away, i decided to stay on for another two weeks or so, in the name of experiencing life.
one begins with beginners' luck, and one ends with one being severely tested.
i got the message.
when i was so taken over by emotions the other day, i forgot the fact that each and everyone of the us is different. we often find ourselves trying hard to live up to others' expectation on us, and very often, we find ourselves encountering failure while trying to do so. similarly, others may not be able to live up to our expectation on them also. this's a vicious cycle. if we don't trancend out of it, we will find unhapiness after unhapiness keep popping out in our lives, and this isn't something really pleasant.
at this very moment, the importance of understanding comes into place.

i understand why this particular book had to appear when i was at the crossroad.
never had i been so fascinated by a book before. not even during the 'Da Vinci' time. i actually spent just 3 days finishing it. the lessons taught were valuable. it's a magical volume which has managed to change a person's decision and her outlook towards life.
very often we find ourselves discontented because we focus too much on lamenting over the past and worrying what will happen in the future. we forget what's most important-the present. if for one time we try to immerse ourselves in doing just what's in the present, we may find life so much more greater and happier.

i'm enlightened.
and i wanna experience life and try different things in the future, before it gets too late.

tada!!!!! =D

Date: Saturday, May 26, 2007
Time: 10:46:00 AM

i have no idea whether this is the way things are supposed to turn out to be.
all i know is that, i listen to my heart, and it says i should do so.
after putting up with it for a few months, i finally figured out that i should put a fullstop to it.
i'm fed up, tired of and totally sick of the idea of having to work under pressure, having to serve arrogant and rude customers, putting up with different irritating attititudes, and having to keep quiet even when i'm being misunderstood. i have had enough, and this's the time that i should end it all. i need a break from all that.
talked to mom on the phone the other day, and i almost burst into tears.
i told her how i felt and how i saw things.
i thought she would scold or blame me for being so childish, emotional and for acting so impulsively.
but after listened to my long complaints and stories, all she said was, 'if you're not happy, don't work already. come home-lah.
-my heart warmed-.
no one could possibly understand how i felt at that instance. the understanding and support from people was all i needed at that time. and mom gave it to me. was touched. really touched.
anyway, i have already made up my mind on that. this time, for real, i am quiting.
i guess i'll miss all my nice colleagues. will drop by taka to pay them visits whenever time allows me to do so. i promise. ><

what now. few more days to go before i end my working life. i really hope that my working experience in future will be a more pleasant one.
before that, i wanna enjoy!
i'm now immersing myself in a new book that i borrowed from CLB bkt panjang. it's called THE ALCHEMIST. interesing and inspiring book, highly recommended. (:

tada...

Date: Thursday, May 24, 2007
Time: 11:31:00 AM

first of all, HAPPIE 19th BD to kfc!
hope you like the little surprise party that we threw you the other day! (:

i've been away from blogging for about a week.
hell lotsa things on my mind now. work has never been so unpleasant for me till that day. i was resented, dissatisfied, and angered. but due to the very fact that i was just a staff and not anything else, i could do nothing but to keep quiet. i had no other choices.

well, it all began with the pile of paperwork.
yes. i was the one who sent them down to the office, but how the stories went after that, i really have no idea. the office is yours, and it's YOUR responsibility to find them. you asked me to go down to find them for you, so i was kind enough to say yes. and when those papers still refused to show themselves, you conveniently pushed the blames on me.
though you tried not to make it so obvious that it was my fault, your actions showed it all.
you asked me to think where i put, who i passed them to.
but please, all i did was to send them down. i said i was very sure that i put them at the shop downstairs. and you said i had to be very sure that i could find them in the office also.
how funny.
nobody could understand how helpless i was. the pressures were all on me. everything has become my fault while all i did was just to follow instruction and to send them down to the office.

this's something i wanna say,
the paperwork lost is your problem, not mine.
even if there's something to do with us, you should have informed earlier. it's february paperwork, why is it till now then u realised they are lost? and you expect us to share the responsibility with you? are you c'iao?
i tried my best to find them for you but to no avail, that's it.
you're supposed to be the one thinking of a solution for that, not us.
we're just salesperson. we have no obligation to do whatever that's inside YOUR office.

i was extremely pissed that day. i even wanted to quit this end of month. but later on i figured out that this's just part and parcel of work, i cldn't leave just becoz of small thing like that. that's so loser.

also probems after problems keep popping out around workplace these days. it seems that everybody has her own difficulty.
but i especially hate those backstabbers, hypocrites.
heard something from meai also. it's hard to believe that friends whom we have known for years could do such things to hurt her. all stemmed from the word jealousy.
totolly disappointed. but this's life.

i'm longing for school life.
in school there may be a lot of problems. but when they get mixed with difficulties in studies, they somehow become less prominent. do you agree?

Date: Thursday, May 17, 2007
Time: 4:58:00 PM

nothing special happened these days. it's even more mundane and boring than i could imagine.
things just suck. sometimes i feel like just packing my stuffs and get back to my home sweet home. no place feels warmer than home.
being away from home too long makes you feel unbelonged.
during school days at least i felt belonged to school, to my friends.
but now? i will never want to belong to my working place. it totally sucks.
glad that i still have few colleagues whom i can really talk to.

can't wait for the day to come. the very day that i can stop waking up and having nothing at all to look forward to, the day that i can stop seeing the ugly faces of some people, the day that i can stop receiving pressure from the upper party.
and i wanna get back to school! SCHOOL!!!!!!!! to meet new friends and to start my meaningful and fuldilling life once again. thinking about it is exciting enough.

and yes. smokers irk me, especially the female ones. i don't despise but i simply dislike it. if you wanna smoke, jolly well just stay away from me. i don't mind befriending but i MIND a lot when you start smoking in front of me.
anyway, i should just just just bear with it.
just some thoughts, i will never accept a smoker as my future spouse.
and please, no heavy drinking, piercing and clubbing too.
if you're a guy, jolly well behave like one. a normal one.

haiz... i know i'm sounding so pissed. but i met too many indecent looking people nowadays, and they simply turned me off.

ok.
tada!

Date: Sunday, May 13, 2007
Time: 12:05:00 AM

also another thing is,

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY to all the moms on earth!!!
it's a pity that i can't spend the day at home, but that's alright, i have already brought her out for steamboat on thursday. geez...

know what, mom is the dearest person to me. hope she'll always stay healthy and happy.
nothing much, just suddenly miss home.

alright gotta go to bed.
nitez.

Date: Saturday, May 12, 2007
Time: 11:44:00 PM

a vErY hAppiE sWt 20 chen hui!!! (:

just came back from the outing with s13 pals. now feeling dead tired but i feel the need to blog about these, about all the meaningful things that happened today.
the most blissful thing was that i got to celebrate with my dearest clique again.
simply wanna thank all of you for taking time off for the outing. esp jun. he only had less than one day of rest day and yet he spent half of the day out with us.
thanks kahfong for the present. it was so touching.
thanks grace, ben and kok for the celebration.

went mayim for lunch followed by mahjong-ing at jun's house. actually i spent most of the time surfing the net and ripping songs from jun's comp cos i'm mahjong-blind. lolx. after that sent jun to take cab to book in, and we proceeded with spiderman3 at westmall. we're always watching movie on my birthday. remember we watched poseidon last year?? lol. believe me, the show is nice! action-packed and some parts are very touching too. kahfong almost cried watching it.
after that we went coffee bean and had a good chat there.
listened to ben and kok talked about life in tekong and stuffs. got to know quite a lot about how their field camp, army life etc.
talked about uni stuffs too. hopefully we'll all make a brilliant decision on what we wanna do in the future.

took cab home after that.
i'm on my own now.
aunt and family is away so i'll be spending the rest of the night all alone.
anyway,
thanks u all once again. it was meaningful. it may not be a big deal to u all but to me, i'll always remember celebrating my 20th birthday with my bunch of beloved pals. reallie appreciate it!
takkaire and we'll have more outings soon.
maybe we go k-boxing again the nez time round? (:

tada!

Date: Thursday, May 10, 2007
Time: 1:05:00 AM

i kinda have the feeling that my blog is becoming my confidant. i can't bear with not telling it my stories and my encounters. this's very wrong i guess.(:

nothing much actually. just feel that i need some tranquility and peace. some quiet time to my self and some rest before i can start my next chapter of life.
i'm seriously sick of the job. what can be learnt were learnt, and now i just feel that i'm repeating my meaningless routine everyday. i'm counting the time, and i just can't wait to stop working and go back to hometown, to meet my old friends, to do all the things that i'm passionate about, and to go back to school!!!
i don't mind experiencing the stress again. i just want some meaning to my life. at least a lil bit will do...

met lots people, this kinda exposes me to the real meaning of 'people from all walks of life'.
sometimes i feel that they're so different from me and my friends. but i guess i should just keep quiet and continue to observe. afterall i can't expect eveybody to be the same as me.
but somehow i feel the difficulty to communicate.
and i simply do not like to hear rough words. everytime i hear them i can feel the sudden pain inficted onto my hears. why would people want to scold bad words? don't they find it harsh and rude? don't they feel uncomfortable saying those words? DON'T THEY???!!!
i can't take it, but i'll keep quiet, and observe....

i'm looking forward to uni life, to once again get back to intellectual life.

can time just pass a bit faster? i'm getting more and more demotivated. i don't even feel like going to work anymore.
still one more month to go...
aiks!!!

just wanna know,
are you tired?
do you feel lonely there?
do you find life as meaningless as how i find my life now?
tc.

Date: Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Time: 10:18:00 AM

simply love the lyrics. a beautiful song.

我一直都在

遥望着你背影
有孤单太苍白
我多么想陪着你
走过人山人海
当天空变灰白
你的忧伤澎湃
我多么想走进你紧锁的心海

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都好好收藏着
等你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热
我鼓起勇气呐喊你要听得见
我不许你再孤单要你拥抱我给的温暖

Date:
Time: 9:50:00 AM

yesterday was really a damn bad day.
haven't i said this enough before, working sucks! sucks to the very core.

received a call from my colleague just at the moment i woke up, saying that a customer called to taka customer service and complained that a dunhill promoter refused to attend to her and cut the belt for her.
and, she was obviously referring to me.
what she described was that the promoter is a chinese girl who has long hair, wearing glasses and small-sized.
so the arrow was conveniently pointed at me.
but i don't remember doing that and i will never ever do such thing!!!!!!!!!!
the customer even had the cheek to request for me to go to her place to cut for her.

i was totally pissed off hearing that.
why should i go? i didnt even do that. i could have served the customer but i never did what she complained. my colleagues were guessing that she was just lazy to go down to taka to cut the belt, so just made a complaint and expected me to cut at her place.
what the f*ck!
ugly rich people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u think you're rich and that's what making you big? but sorry, my pride is even bigger.
i told my colleague, if my boss really asked me to go her house and cut for her, i would just resign. i'd rather lose the job than to degrade myself to do such thing, to admit something that i never did.
this's the thing i hate most.

irritating isn't it?
basically my face was black throughout the day. i even shouted at my boss over the phone. guess she was kinda stunned.
at the end she settled it. but i know she's still finding who the promoter was. but the conclusion we made is that, i was obviosly the one, if not the goddamn customer wouldn't have been able to describe my appearance, but other than that it's all distorted and twisted stories.
i felt accused and wronged.
my mood was so bad that i finished one whole bar of ritter sports(whole white hazelnut!!). reallie, it worked and my mood got better after that.
next time when u're down, just buy one bar of chocolates and finish it. it's really effective!

i don't wanna hold curse, but i seriously wanna see the customer. i wanna see her ugly face, but till now she still doesn't dare to appear in front of my counter.
come on, if you are not happy with me, jolly well stand in front of me and scold me, don't be a backstabber and complain behind.
plus one funny thing is that, if i really refused too cut the belt for her, she could have complained on that day itself, but she waited for so long! this doesn't make sense right? even my boss said she's c'iao one.

i feel okay. but still dissatisfied.
but that's alright. LIFE EXPERIENCE ya?
but this really sucks...

Date: Sunday, May 6, 2007
Time: 11:27:00 PM

omg. i got in NUS SCIENCE!

how lucky can i get! my results aren't that fantastic and yet both uni offer me my 1st choice.

i'm still thinking... argh so confused...

well, actually my stand was already kind of firm that i wanna go NTU. firstly, i can stay with sis, and i have also mentioned it before that i prefer the environment there.
BUT BUT BUT, on this very day, i received the package from NUS.
what can i say? I AM TEMPTED!
the package is like full of information and everything looks so complete and nice compared to the NTU letter.
but, the downside is that, i missed out the application for financial aid for NUS. so, i may need to do lotsa appealing to get it, and the fact that i received the letter so late means that i'm actually in the lower band compared to those who received earlier.

so, in conclusion, i need time to think......
opinions? views? any?
zzz.

sms-ed with him yesterday. he's going to ntu too. wow his course is reallie cool. heard that only the top few percents of the whole cohort can get in.
and...
he was so funny.
it may sound silly and stupid if i say that i'm willing to wait for two years just to get to know him better. but this's reallie what's on my mind now.
omg. CH CHONG! don't be stupid!!! u sound like one brainless girl!!!
lolx. anyway, i was happy enough.

had outing with scholar gang today. we went suki at cineleisure. and to add in more colours, pui appeared!!!
had a good chat and gossiping session with everybody and from there i got to know that most people from my batch are going to NTU. amongst the courses accountancy is the most popular one.

hmmz.. and just nice both the tea sessions fall on 12may. 12may u know???!!!(: if only i can perform some magic to split myself into two halves, else i really don't know how to go for both.

ok just to digress a little bit, my face is so round now!!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!
the auntie from nearby counter teased me the other day, saying that i've got a doll face. please, what she meant was't that i'm cute or what. what she really meant was that my face is round!!!
haizz. some of the colleagues keep urging me to go and cut my hair short to have a new look. but please, to cut my hair short is no different from writing the words 'MY FACE IS ROUND' on my forehead. so i will never want to do that. NEVER!!!!! -roars-

okay, enuf of nonsense.
just some thoughts. blogging is funn!!! (:

takkaire peeps.

Date: Saturday, May 5, 2007
Time: 12:42:00 AM

today was a hectic day.
went back jb ytd and rushed back before 11am today. cos' boss has requested for my help in the shop today, and so i was nice enough to say yes and woke up at 8.30am today while i could actually catch a longer sleep.
i stayed at the shop till 7 plus. it's all about packing and unpacking. went down to taka to continue my shift till 9.30pm. glad that there's no extended hour this month.
but guess what, the fact that it's a friday night caused me to reach home at 11.45pm. basically all the buses 190 and 700 were so packed with people(who seemed to have never taken a bus before), and therefore the bus drivers didnt stop the bus at my stop. i waited for more than half and hour and watched a few buses passed by, and decided i should head for mrt.
so i reached at 11.45pm!!!! sianz.

talking about helping boss at the shop, actually after spending a day with her there, i realised that she isnt that bad afterall. she's good at managing her business, just that sometimes she's too insensitive to her staff's feelings and a little too calculative at times.
the dislike for her suddenly disappeared into thin air, and in turn it brought me happiness! (:
i went to the washroom over there(it's at peninsula plaza by the way), and i almost vomitted!!! i could actually choose to go the staff washroom, but i was too lazy to get the key from my boss, and so i ended up in the common toilet. and guess what i saw. i saw a few cockcroaches 'running' on the sink!!!!!!!!!!!! YUCKKSS!!!
i was totally disgusted.
i went to the foodcourt there later on to have my lonely lunch, and the condition there wasn't very good either.
haiz. really pity my colleague who stationed there for the whole of last week. i really have no idea how she managed to stand it. =S

geez. feel so happie, for no reasons.
partly becos i got to recharge and reenergize myself at home ytd?
don't know lah...
maybe it's YOU?

takkaire and nitezz (:

Date: Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Time: 11:52:00 PM

finally it's wednesday. which means, tomorrow is THURSDAY! duhh.

well, i think i'm such a weird person. i admit that i'm hot-tempered and easily irritated. but what happened today proved that human's characters do change sometimes.
let's start from the moment i stepped into ICA building at kallang.
i was supposed to collect my svp today between 2-4pm. i went throught lots of troubles, as i wasn't sure of which kiosk to get my Q number, plus the fact that the machines were a lil screwed and so i made a few attempts before i could have my barcode scanned.
later on i waited for one hour for my turn to be served. i repeat, i waited for ONE HOUR, just to realise that i need to pay 40 dollars for it. and the best part was, i didnt, DIDN'T bring my atm card! OMG. i couldn't get any more irritated. how blur can i get!!! so, i gotta make my way to ICA again tomorrow.
and, just to restate my point, i'm actually hot-tempered and easily irritated. but surprisingly, the fire died out even before i stepped out of ICA building. i was basically singing my way to my boss's office after that, even when i knew that i had to stay back for OT.
nothing can be more pleasing than this.
i have no idea why i'm so happy and elated. mayb because of my new prettie W200i?
geez.

these few days i hav been clicking on the links to read my old entries.
so much had actually happened.
and i'm glad that i actually picked up the habit of blogging. it helps to bring back old memories, be it sweet or bitter.
met lots of students on the streets, on the bus.. i'm referring to those wearing school uniforms.
i never knew the value of it till i can't have any chance to wear mine again. that's it for our uniform days. i hate to admit this but i reallie, reallie, feel jealous.
if u were to ask me whether i'm willing to go back to the 'A' level period, i will be firm to give you a thousands of definite 'NO!' . no way am i going to experience that kind of stress and strain again. but if you were to ask me to choose between schooling and working, i'd rather go back to school. nothing can be more precious than school time. the joy, laughters, fun, even bitterness are unforgettable. so what if there were tears? we shed them together what!
i know it isn't right to keep looking back. but which human being with heart and emotions doesn't?
we look back at times to remind ourselves how much we have gone through and how much we have growned, be it mentally or physically.
i wanna run away, run against time. i don't want time to pass so fast, and i don't want the new memories to overshadow the old ones. and i don't wanna grow up so fast. i still wanna play. play play play.
argh.

these are the places that hav brought great memories. let's see

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Catholic Junior College Hostel
i spent my first two years in sg here. it's small and simple but it's where i learnt lotsa things and started my journey alone.

HCI Boarding School
i miss those days in hcibs too. it's like a 5-star hotel, but without air-cond. i enjoyed lots of freedom here. simply love the facilities to bits. the pic looks like a palace right? lolx.

Jurong Junior College!!!
haha. couldnt manage to find a nice pic from the jj web. anw, it's the place where i enjoyed the most. i found my fun and crazy clique here.(:

hahas. enough of being nostalgic.

btw, i have accepted the offer from NTU!
and kfc has received the letter from the same fac to0! and so we will really be coursemates!!! woohoos~

tada!

Date: Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Time: 11:07:00 PM

i'm sick. argh.
this feels terrible.
since morning i have been sneezing and sneezing. and it seems that lots of people are having flu too. at my workplace, all the promoters around my counters were sneezing too.
omg. the germs are being spreaded. i wish they will go away soon.
just took medicine, hopefully i'll be alright tomorrow. =S

HEY PEOPLE!!!
i have a new idol now!!!
look at this:

isn't he cute???!!!
this's our up and coming Evan Yo.
i can forsee him being another superstar after Jay and JJ Lin.
he's got the talents okay??!!
simply love the songs written and sang by him.

the guys booked in again today.
feel kinda sad cos we didnt manage to meet up. we were all busy with our own lives. be it work, interview or whatsoever. but that's alright. i'm sure we'll find one day when everybody is free, then we can have our outing. **looking forward**
the clique without the guys is like so inccomplete.

i have already made up my mind.
gonna work till 15 june. this's the most i can do. i can't possibly work till 30 june while my fac orientation starts on 10 jul. i still need time to go back to my hometown and i need some rest too.
i guess i will miss my workplace ba, though i have said it many times that i don't like working. one thing that i can never deny is that the people are nice. and i will really miss them.

k tadA! more update next time! really feeling so sick...
nitez.